Today is Tuesday and it’s time for the King of Bullshit to write some more bullshit. I tried to come up with a different word. I went to a thesaurus and could’ve used these words.
Absurdity, babble, balderdash, baloney, bananas, bombast, bunk, claptrap, drivel, fatuity, flightiness, folly, foolishness, fun, gibberish, giddiness, hooey, hogwash, hot air, imprudence, inanity, irrationality, jazz, jest, jive, joke, ludicrousness, madness, mumbo jumbo, palaver, poppycock, prattle, pretense, ranting, rashness, rot, rubbish, scrawl, scribble, senselessness, silliness, soft soap, stupidity, thoughtlessness, trash, and finally, tripe.
I like “soft soap”.
I think all the words can apply except for the ones that mean lies. My bullshit is bullshit but it’s 100% honest bullshit, which is why it’s the best word to use.
Maybe we should come up with a new word for bullshit. Any suggestions?
What if we just pretty up the word? Instead of saying, "Bullshit!" We could say," A male bovine's excrement!!"
Doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?
Why is it when your hand or your leg falls asleep it tingles? And why do they call it “asleep”? It’s not asleep to me. Asleep is asleep.
Imagine if that’s how it really felt when we did go asleep at night. Our bodies would tingle all over and that’s how we determine how good we slept.
“Man, my body was really tingling last night.”
“Damn, I wish I could sleep that good.”
There would be commercials for some crazy sounding drug to help you sleep. Maybe some name like Tingilus.
“Do you suffer from peaceful tingle-free nights? Well your troubles are over with Tingilus. With Tingilus you are assured 10 hours of tingling sleep”
“Those suffering from 24 hours of tingling should consult your physician”
If you read a good suspense book or seen a good suspense movie.
"That book is so good. Very spine-sleeping."
Guys who went to the club would be bragging to their friends.
“I met some woman last night who was so fine she’ll make parts of your body sleep”
Or if you ate a Peppermint Patty candy.
“When I eat a Peppermint Patty I get the sleeping sensation that I’m …”
I think there’s a Charlie Brown joke there somewhere, too.
I'm not giving you any "soft soap" when I say, "Thanks for listening to my male bovine's extrement".